From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
