It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
