I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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