Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
operation harelip BJ is a go
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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