Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All I want is dick and wine.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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