Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
