Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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