I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
