2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
