he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
