rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
