I want to have your abortion
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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