Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
