we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
