We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
