Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
