i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
