I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
