I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
