**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
