i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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