Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Too much gin, very little bucket
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
