u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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