just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
