Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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