btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
