Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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