Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
