The maid of honor just puked.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
