another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
