My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
