so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
