just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
