well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
