if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
