I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
