I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
