first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
