dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Drunk is not a location!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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