I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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