I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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