how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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