You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
