she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
