Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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