I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
