Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
