Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
