a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
