Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it's great music for shaving your balls
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
