This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
