I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I smell like Dick and happiness
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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